


Fruit Is Healthy, Wholesome, And Not Erotic In Any Way

by Arkada



Series: Tony Stark's Unofficial Guide To Sleeping With Two Gods At Once [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Almost oral sex, I wonder how the banana feels?, Innuendo like whoa, Loki is a Tease, Multi, Thunderfrostiron - Freeform, misuse of fruit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-08
Updated: 2012-11-08
Packaged: 2017-11-18 05:33:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/557446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arkada/pseuds/Arkada
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki eats a banana. Gods help us all. Especially Tony and Thor.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fruit Is Healthy, Wholesome, And Not Erotic In Any Way

**Author's Note:**

> There is not one single banana in the entire MCU. If I owned it, I would address this defect.

Tony hasn’t heard anything that’s been said for the past five minutes. 

It’s all Loki’s fault. 

Tony wonders if a god can sin. If one can, then Loki is, because what he’s doing to that banana doesn’t come under any other verb. 

Long, slow, speculative looks while he’s chewing the delicate bites. Eyes drifting shut when he puts it in his mouth. Slim, elegant fingers toying with the hanging skin. 

If this weren’t some meeting that’s apparently important or something and if Tony didn’t still have that one ounce of shame that refuses to die, he’d give Loki something else to suck, right here, right now. 

So would Thor, judging by the look on his face. It’s the only thing Tony can look at that isn’t Loki’s damn banana, because the other corner of their triangle is a devastating sight too – dark flush high on his cheeks, tongue sliding over his lips apparently unconsciously, eyes tracking Loki’s every movement. 

Tony wonders what _he_ looks like. No better, he guesses. 

Possibly worse, if Thor’s become accustomed to this over his ridiculously long life with Loki. Do they have bananas on Asgard? Perhaps not. They don’t seem like a banana-y culture. 

What do they have, then? Maybe it’s something even more suggestive than a banana. And there are other worlds too; what humorously shaped foods do they have to offer? 

Except by the way Loki is, most definitely, fellating one, there is _nothing_ more suggestive than a banana no matter how many realms are on their tree thingy. 

What? If they want Tony to know about their philosophy, they shouldn’t try to teach him while they’re both balls-deep in him. It’s almost unbelievable that he remembers anything about a tree at all. 

Someone smacks him on the side of the head. He blinks and turns to see them. 

It’s Steve, frowning disapprovingly. “Are you paying attention?” 

“Yes,” he answers with perfect truth. He’s completely attentive to Loki’s banana and Thor’s viewing of said banana. (That’s a trick Loki taught him. He’s very proud of it.) 

“Then what did I just say?” 

“‘Are you paying attention?’” 

Steve, if possible, looks even more disapproving. It’s the kind of look that convinces muggers to give the old lady back her purse and hand themselves over quietly. “We agreed to let Loki stay here provided he wouldn’t disrupt Avenger business. If you can’t stop staring at him, we’ll have to do something about that. I know you’re vulnerable out of the suit-” and Tony’s tempted to do something very nasty to Steve for saying that, except he’s got a little smile now that just says ‘I’m referencing the bitch-fights we had when we first met, aren’t I cute?’ “-but he’s given us his word he’s not going to try anything, and I trust him.” 

Tony doesn’t say the first thing that comes to mind, fortunately, because it’s a long discourse on how relieved he is that Steve hasn’t called him out on being distracted by Loki’s banana sucking. He doesn’t say the second thing either, because that’s veered into an appreciative ramble on the banana again – which Loki still hasn’t put down, by the way, even though most of the other Avengers are now looking at him too. 

Bruce is an unhealthy shade of red, but it’s much better than any shade of green.

Unfortunately for Tony, Clint’s a sniper and trained at reading even the tiniest cues in body language, and Natasha just knows _everything_ , and when they look at each other Tony knows they’re onto him. 

Clint stands up, walks around the table, and swipes the banana from Loki’s hand. 

“That’s my banana!” 

It’s shouted by Loki, Tony, _and_ Thor. 

“Not anymore,” Clint says, and starts eating it. 

“Gonna kill you, Barton,” Tony grumbles, mourning the loss. 

“Sure about that?” Clint takes another bite. Slowly. Tongue flicking out the side of his mouth to reach further down. 

Thor stands up, chair hitting the back wall, and heads for the door. 

“Hey,” Steve says, “meeting’s not over! Where are you going?” 

“In search of more fruit,” Thor says. His gaze flickers between Tony and Loki. “Will you join me?” 

“Hell yes,” Tony agrees, shooting up to follow him. Loki comes up to his side and they walk out together. 

Loki leans down to whisper in Tony’s ear. “Besides, you haven’t seen what I can do with your Midgardian cherries.” 

Tony may or may not pass out from arousal at this point.


End file.
